Safety Planning During Family Court Proceedings

Understanding safety risks during proceedings

Family court proceedings can be a period of heightened risk for those experiencing family violence. The combination of separation, legal conflict, potential changes to parenting arrangements, and the stress of court processes can escalate danger.

Several dynamics make this period particularly volatile:

• Loss of control — perpetrators of family violence often seek to maintain control. Court proceedings can trigger escalation because they represent a loss of control over the relationship, the children, and the outcome.
• Forced contact — court processes require communication about children, document exchange, and attendance at hearings, all of which create opportunities for intimidation, threats, or physical violence if safety measures aren't in place.
• Custody disputes — disputes over children can be particularly volatile. Research shows that threats often increase around changeovers, and the prospect of reduced time with children can trigger dangerous behaviour.
• Exposure of behaviour — court proceedings may expose violent behaviour to judges, lawyers, and family consultants. Some perpetrators react to this exposure with increased threats or attempts to intimidate victims into withdrawing allegations.

Creating a personal safety plan

A safety plan is a personalised, practical plan for protecting yourself and your children during high-risk periods. It should be tailored to your specific situation — considering the nature of the risk, your living arrangements, your children's ages and needs, and your support network.

An effective safety plan includes:

• Emergency contacts — a list of people you can call 24/7: police, trusted friends, family violence services, your lawyer.
• Quick exit strategy — safe places to go, a packed bag with essentials, access to money, car keys, and documents.
• Important documents — copies of court orders, intervention orders, passports, and birth certificates kept safely accessible outside the home (a trusted friend's place or safety deposit box).
• Code words — pre-arranged signals with trusted people that mean you need help or are in danger.
• Children's items — medications, school uniforms, and comfort items packed and accessible.

Family violence services can help you develop a personalised safety plan. They have expertise in risk assessment and can help you think through scenarios you may not have considered. If you're in immediate danger, call 000. For support and safety planning assistance, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 (24/7).

Safe handover arrangements

Changeovers are often the most dangerous time for those experiencing family violence — they create opportunities for conflict at moments of high emotion. Planning safe handover arrangements is critical, and the court can include these requirements in parenting orders.

Safe handover options

• Contact centre changeovers — Children's Contact Services provide supervised changeovers where parents don't see or interact with each other. One parent drops off, leaves, and then the other parent arrives to collect. These services are free or low-cost and operate throughout Australia. You can request this arrangement in your parenting order application.
• Police station changeovers — many police stations allow changeovers to occur in their car parks or waiting areas. The presence of police provides deterrence against violent behaviour. Check with your local station about their policy; this can be included as a specific condition in parenting orders.
• Third-party handovers — a trusted third party (family member, friend, or professional) handles the changeover so you and the other parent never interact directly. This must be someone who can be relied upon to follow the arrangement consistently.
• School or childcare changeovers — one parent drops off at school or childcare in the morning, and the other parent picks up in the afternoon. This completely eliminates direct contact between parents.
• Public location with time gap — changeovers at a busy public location with staggered times: one parent drops off and leaves, with a 15–30 minute gap before the other parent arrives.

Secure communication strategies

Even after separation, you'll likely need to communicate about the children. This can be a source of ongoing abuse if not managed carefully. Secure communication strategies protect you from harassment while creating a clear record that can be used as evidence.

Parenting apps

Apps like OurFamilyWizard and AppClose are specifically designed for high-conflict situations. They provide documented and timestamped communication, messages that cannot be deleted or edited, court-admissible records, shared calendars, and expense tracking. Parenting orders can specifically require communication through a particular app and prohibit direct phone calls or text messages.

Email-only communication

If parenting apps aren't feasible, email-only communication can be required in orders. Create a dedicated email address just for parenting communication, set boundaries on response times (for example, within 48 hours), keep messages factual and child-focused, and don't respond to abusive messages — save them as evidence and back up all communications regularly.

Protecting your home and location

If you've moved to a new address or are planning to, keeping your location confidential may be critical to your safety. Australian family law provides mechanisms for address confidentiality, and there are practical steps you can take to protect your home.

Address confidentiality in court proceedings

• Non-disclosure orders — under Rule 2.04 of the Federal Circuit and Family Court Rules, you can apply for an order that your address not be disclosed to the other party. File a Form 4 Notice and include a specific request for non-disclosure; courts routinely grant these orders where family violence is established.
• Address for service — you can use an alternative address for service of court documents: a PO Box, your lawyer's address, or a trusted friend or relative's address. Your actual residential address does not need to appear on court documents.
• Confidential affidavits — in some cases the court can receive confidential affidavit material not disclosed to the other party, where disclosure would create genuine safety risks.

Practical home security measures

• Change locks immediately after separation. Consider a locksmith who can install high-security locks.
• Install security cameras — doorbell cameras and CCTV can provide evidence of stalking or breaches of orders.
• Consider a monitored alarm system with a panic button that can immediately alert police.
• Vary your routine — change your regular routes and times for work, school drop-off, and shopping to be less predictable.
• Alert trusted neighbours to the situation and ask them to call police if they see the other parent at your property.

Children's safety at school and activities

Schools and childcare centres play an important role in keeping children safe. They need to know about court orders, who can and cannot collect children, and what to do in an emergency. Getting this right protects your children during the school day when you're not with them.

1. Provide written information to the school principal — include a copy of any parenting orders and intervention orders, a list of who can and cannot collect the children, and your emergency contacts. Request a meeting to discuss the arrangements.
2. Request address confidentiality — ask the school to keep your address and contact details confidential from the other parent, including not sharing information at parent-teacher nights, in school directories, or in response to requests from the other parent.
3. Establish pickup protocols — work with the school to set clear pickup procedures: a password required before children are released, an approved pickup list, and staff confirming the collecting adult at the gate.
4. Plan for unexpected attendance — ask the school to notify you immediately if the other parent attends unexpectedly, and ensure the school has a plan for those situations.
5. Consider school counsellor support — counsellors can provide valuable support for children going through family separation, especially where family violence is involved.

Emergency planning

Despite the best planning, violence can escalate unexpectedly. Knowing what to do in an emergency — and having a plan in place before you need it — can make a critical difference.

If you are in immediate danger

1. Call 000 immediately. If you can't speak, stay on the line — police can trace the call. Give your address, describe what's happening, and stay on the line until help arrives.
2. Get yourself and your children to safety. Leave if you can do so safely. Go to a pre-planned safe location — a neighbour's house, police station, or somewhere the other parent won't expect.
3. Don't go back until it's safe. Wait for police to confirm the other person has left. If you cannot return home safely, contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) for emergency accommodation options.

When violence escalates: legal options

• Intervention orders (also called restraining orders or AVOs depending on state) are made by Magistrates Courts and can prohibit the other person from contacting or approaching you, exclude them from your home and workplace, and be obtained the same day in emergencies. Police can apply on your behalf.
• Urgent family court applications — if you need to urgently change parenting arrangements, you can apply for urgent interim orders (can be heard within 24–72 hours), suspension of existing orders until a safety assessment, orders prohibiting the other parent from removing children, and recovery orders if children have been taken.

Common questions